Discord in Equestria
by Ratin8tor
Summary: What if the Mane Six didn't become friends again in Return of Harmony. What if Discord ruled over Equestria. What if the Elements of Harmony feel to another six. What if they were Equestria's only hope.
1. Chapter 1: The Jounrey Begins

It is I, the great and powerful Trixie, here to start off this story. Naturally I am first, since I am the best. It is as logical as the rising of the sun each morning.

… Not that the sun rises each morning. Or if it could even be called morning any more. Time has been thrown out with both the bathwater and the baby.

But not that it matters. I am still here. That is all that matters. At the end of the day all you can count on is yourself. That's what I've always said; and it turned out to be right.

Twilight Sparkle? Yes, I remember her. The little pony who thought she was better than me because she was able to subdue an Usur Minor. A baby usur minor. As if that is any sort of threat. Come talk to me when you've defeated an usur major.

But clearly she met her match when she tried to tangle with Him. Her and her little friends. I knew it was foolish for everypony to pin their hopes on that ragtag bunch of ruffians. No style or sense of presentation. Now look at them.

Applejack, the Element of Honesty, lying as if it was going out of fashion.

Pinkie Pie, the Element of Laughter, bringing pain to anything that would dare to laugh, even if it wasn't directed at her.

Rarity, the Element of Generosity, obsessing over worthless rocks as if they were jewels.

Fluttershy, the Element of Kindness. Never have I seen so horrible a pony in all my life. She's sank to lows I wouldn't dare go.

Rainbow Dash, the Element of Loyalty. According to rumours it was her fault that Discord won, after she turned tail and ran away like the traitor she is.

Twilight Sparkle, the Element of Magic, can now barely muster up enough energy to use a single spell. Pathetic.

If I had been put in charge of the Elements of Harmony I wouldn't have let Him win. I would have stopped him without getting a single beautiful hair out of place.

Okay I suppose I'm not entirely honest all of the time, but it's not like I lie about all my achievements. I did once stare down a Usur major, even if it was only asleep at the time.

Okay perhaps I don't enjoy laughter except when its at others I've humiliated, but it's all in jest, right?

Okay at a stretch I might not be that generous, but it's not like I have that much to spare. All my belongs were smashed by that stupid Twilight, leaving me destitute.

Okay you could make the argument that I'm not particularly kind, but you can't afford to be kind in the cut-throat business that is show business.

Okay I can't deny that I'm not at all loyal, but can you blame a pony? It's everypony for themselves, as I keep saying.

But magic. Well, can you think of a better candidate? I am well versed in spells and incarnations. I can perform feats of magic that you could scarcely begin to comprehend. What may seem like cheap parlour tricks take years of practice. If anyone deserves to wield the Element of Magic, it's me.

So why isn't it working?

I couldn't believe it when I first found Celestia lying in the muddy field, her once beautiful mane ruined, her once beautiful coat stained with dirt. A shell of her former self.

What? Princess Celestia? No, she wasn't a princess. A princess wouldn't be caught dead in her condition. Wings clipped, horn shaved off. Coat in tatters, mane ruffled and thinning. It's hard to believe she was ever a princess.

I don't know why she was hugging the skull of some unicorn so tightly, nor do I particularly care. It didn't seem to be any of my business. I learnt that hard way that you shouldn't be nosy in times like these. Not when people aren't certain that what they have will stay the same shape by the time they put it in their mouths.

I was tempted to leave her there, sobbing away like a baby, but it was the jewellery that caught my eye. It looked quite nice. Somehow untainted by all that was going on. The tiara especially would have looked rather nice on me. I decided then and there that it should be mine.

I approached the former alicron, ready to use all the charms that lay at my disposal. Both magical and personal. It turned out I didn't even need to bother.

She gave me the trinkets and asked me to seek out the other five bearers of the elements, in the hopes that they could be combined once more. How foolish. As if these trinkets could do anything to stop Him.

… But they did seem to stop Nightmare Moon. Perhaps there is some truth in the rumours I've heard going around.

Regardless, the Element of Magic is mine. Perhaps it'll unlock some inner potential I didn't know I had. Perhaps it'll double my magic, maybe even triple it. That'll make me unstoppable.

But according to Celestia, I need to find the other bearers to unlock it. Five ponies that fulfil the ultimate ideal of loyalty, kindness, generosity, honesty and laughter. As if those things exist in this world any more.

I'd have talked to her some more, but He decided to make an appearance to her. I knew better than to hang around. I still have the limp from the last encounter. Fortunately he didn't seem to notice me, instead choosing to laugh at the alicron. Something told me that that was worst then any torture he could think up. And he could think up a lot of them, as some poor ponies could attest.

I need to find five ponies. To do that I should theoretically have to comb all of Equestria. But Ponyville will be enough. Or what's left of it. There are some parts of the world where you flip a coin and guess what side will be face up when it comes down.

In Ponyville when you flip a coin you place bets on whether it'll be an organic object or not when it lands again.

I don't know why I should comb Ponyville, perhaps the most dangerous of places. Perhaps because it's right under his nose, so he's less likely to notice me. Perhaps it's because it has the biggest concentration of ponies.

Or perhaps it's just because it's the closest place and I don't want to waste much time. The sooner I activate my element, the sooner I once again become the great and powerful Trixie.

Perhaps then I'll have all I ever wanted.

Perhaps then I'll be happy.


	2. Chapter 2: Loyal to the Second

Doctor Whooves. Master of time. Or at least the unenviable ability to keep perfect track of time.

I can tell you it has been exactly twenty-three seconds since this conversation started, five hours, sixteen minutes and forty-two seconds after I got up this morning. The ability to keep such precise time is the reason I became an hourglass maker in the first place. I can keep perfect time right down to the last grain of sand. My hourglasses were accurate within every two hundred and eighty third turn. They'd always lose a second on the eighty fourth. Not that anyone would notice. It would take almost two years of continuous turning for the error to show up. By then most ponies would have gotten a new hourglass.

I noticed though. It has always been my life's ambition to make the perfect hourglass. The one that is never wrong, never loses or gains time. In perfect sync with the rest of the universe.

Oh, the cutie mark? That came when I visited the Hourglass Museum when I was a young foal. The caretaker couldn't believe I was able to memorize all the times shown, nor that I could correct them to flow correctly. It was after I solved one particularly puzzling problem that it finally appeared.

That was a long time ago though. A different time. A time when time existed.

I said it was twenty-three seconds. I was lying. It should have been, but it wasn't. It was whatever He chose it to be. I'm not sure if seconds even exist any more, or at the very least if they're called that.

But I shall stay loyal to the concept if nothing else. He may be able to remove time from the universe, but he'll never remove it from my heart.

You know, he'd fascinate me if he wasn't so... evil. No, not evil. Chaotic. I have a theory about his power you know. The reason why he can do what he does. It's because for him, time doesn't exist. There is no such thing as the past, or the future, or even basic causality for him. When a glass appears, it has always existed and will always exist. It has no beginning except the beginning he made, nor any end until he deems it. It can poof into existence and have always been in existence. Without any cause and effect to hold him down he can do what he freely wants. It really is quite amazing.

But just because he's able to create such things doesn't give him the right to do what he does. My beloved Ponyville is now a ruin. No cause and effect, no rhyme or reason. Just chaotic mess.

People would think me foolish for staying loyal to things that don't even exist any more. That I will still believe in and try to measure time, despite the fact that it doesn't exist in this universe any more. That I'll stay loyal to her.

They say I loved her. I say that you couldn't do my feelings justice with such a simple four letter word. I stood by her side when no other stallion would. I protected her from the great stampede of wilderducks and monfowls. I stood by her when the building she was in suddenly failed to be attached to the ground. I fought off the beasts that wanted to hurt her for laughing.

I stood with her through thick and thin, both metaphorically and literally. The thought of leaving her in that treacle lake never once crossed my mind. Perhaps I'm boastful, perhaps I'm egotistical. But I would never abandon someone I care about. I would never stop until they were out of harms way.

She's out of harms way now. At least, I hope she is. I pray to Celestia that He can't touch her any more. Not where she is. I hope she can finally get the peace she deserves.

So why am I still here, in the chaos capital, when every sensible pony would have gotten up and left? Because it was my home. I was born here and I will grow old here. The sky may take my spirit, but Ponyville will keep my bones. I made a promise to myself that I would stay here no matter what. I plan to keep that promise. I haven't broken a promise in my life. I don't plan to start now.

So do you understand? Do you comprehend what you are asking of me. If I promise this then I can never stop until I've fulfilled my end of the bargain. You saved my life before. I am now indebted to you. I will stay with you until such time where my services are no longer required.

I will follow you on this quest, although I think it is a fool's errand. I strongly doubt that any of us will see our homes again. That any of us will see the warm light of the sun again.

I doubt that I'll ever see my beloved workshop again. He has yet to touch it. It is all I have left.

So I will stay loyal to you, as I have stayed loyal to time. As I've stayed loyal to my home. As I've stayed loyal to her.

Does that fulfil your requirements for the Element, Miss... Trixie, was it? Am I suitable? If so, then I have one last thing to say.

Allons-y.


	3. Chapter 3: Sweet and Kind

Good morning class. Glad to see so many of you could turn up. Now if you could-

Ditzy Doo! Put down that spitball. Honestly young madam sometimes you just drive me cra-

No, no don't cry. I'm sorry. I'm just a bit stressed right now. The work I was meant to mark got turned into a bunch of ladybugs and crawled away. I'm afraid I can't give you a proper grading.

Anyway kids, lets move onto today's lesson: simple maths. Now I know you think it's stupid, what with Him making it so that math doesn't work any more. That two plus two equals fish. But that doesn't mean we should give up on education, even in a world of madness.

Hello? Why hello. It seems that we have a guest. Guests. Come in come in. And your names are?

Class, this is Doctor Whooves and Miss Trixie the Great and Powerful. What brings you all the way out here to my little class?

Yes I know there's no pony there. Yes I know no pony comes to school any more. Not since He took charge.

Then why am I here you ask? Because someone has to be. Someone has to mind the classrooms while everything else goes on.

So what is it that you want? I see. The Elements of Harmony. I heard they were destroyed. Clearly I was mistaken. But why me?

Sweetie Belle. Now there's a filly I haven't seen in a long time. She recommended me, did she? Not sure why she would want to do that.

Well I have been called sweet and kind in the past. At least according the ponies that were listening in too the girl's singing. But I still fail to see what you want with me.

Bear the Element? Which one? I'm a teacher, we're not known for our honesty. I have to lie to kids and tell them that Stallion Clause really exists. I'm not cut out for that.

I'm afraid I'm not one for laughter. I tend to be rather serious. It comes with the profession. There is a time for laughter. And there is a time for hard work. Being a teacher means knowing when to put your hoof down.

So, kindness or generosity. I suppose I do give up a lot of my time to make sure the foals and fillies have what they need. But I can't say I'm doing that out of the kindness of my heart, but because that's what the job entails.

So why am I here when it clearly seems to be a waste of time. Well, because why not? I've helped ponies in the past that have needed shelter. He doesn't think much of education, so he has left this place alone. A sort of shelter, if you like. I'm here in case people need anything.

I don't have a lot to give, but I give what I can. Mostly I just listen. I offer support. I remind other ponies about how Discord was defeated before and how he'll be defeated again. How we shouldn't give up on faith.

But most of all I'm there for them. I'm there when they need me. I'm there for every stallion, every pony, every filly, ever foal.

Why do I do it? Well, out of the kindness of my own heart really. Kindness doesn't cost that much, not when it comes to the rewards. It was the reason I became a teacher in the first place. To teach children not only the three R's, but how to treat each other with kindness and respect.

Sometimes I look at Ponyville and wondered whether ponies would ever be kind to each other again. Or if it's just some sort of silly delusion. But even if it is, it's one I'm going to cling too. Even if this world of madness kindness can still prevail.

So you want me to join you on this quest to unite the Elements of Harmony and defeat Him? Even though the odds of doing it are slim to none. Even though we're most likely going to fail in an attempt.

But I will do it. If there's a shot at restoring happiness to the world then it is my duty to take it. Not just for me, but for all ponies. Someone has to do something when no pony else can. Someone has to do the difficult jobs.

You know, I never regretted my decisions in life. To put work over love. Seeing the young fillies and foals growing and learning is all I ever need. I wouldn't call it kindness, not totally. I'm just doing the right thing.

I am a teacher, but I wouldn't want it any other way.


	4. Chapter 4: For Those Less Fortunate

Next.

I see. Sprained hoof. I suggest you take a few days off to lie down. Keep your weight off it. I'd prescribe some antibiotics, but I'm afraid I've run out of them. But it should heal fine if you're careful.

Next.

Yep, a chipped tooth. Nothing I can do about it, you want the dentist. Still, as long as you floss, it should be fine.

Next.

Ah. Yes. Hmm.

It seems that you have been turned into a strange abomination, a mixture between a pony, a rabbit, three buffaloes and the rare Abyssinian wire-haired triple-hound. I'm afraid I can't do much. Some see my when you know which species you're meant to be.

Next.

So what's the problem with you? You seem fine. Your bones haven't been turned into toffee, have they? Met one poor pony that had that, couldn't function normally. There was nothing in the training to cover that sort of situation.

You haven't had your organs replaced with paper, have you?

You haven't had your eyeballs removed and placed elsewhere on your body?

You haven't been merged with one or more species, have you?

No, you seem to have been spared. You should count yourself lucky. I've seen some real horror stories in here. Why are you here then?

I see. To unite the Elements of Harmony once more. Well I'm afraid you're talking to the wrong pony. I can't help you out there. I'm neither honest nor funny.

Generosity? What makes you think I'm generous? I doubt that it would work for me?

Well I do suppose that this clinic could be countered as generous. If it wasn't for the fact that I'm just doing my job.

My Cutie Mark? Well that came the first time I helped someone as a little filly. My friend hurt themselves in a skateboarding accident. I stayed with her and made sure she got the help she needed. The doctors complimented me on my first aid skill and it suddenly appeared.

After that the obvious thing was to go off and train so I could help ponies out better. It wasn't easy and I didn't have a whole lot, but I still gave it all that I could.

So why did I become a nurse? Well to give back to those that have helped me in the past. I didn't have the best childhood. I didn't have a lot. I relied on people giving me charity. In fact I was shocked when my parents had saved up enough for me to go to Nurse's school. It turned out that my family had been saving ever since I got my cutie mark. My parents went without a lot to get me what I needed.

I don't think I can ever repay their generosity. The kindness that they showed me. But I have to try.

After that I became the standard nurse. While I didn't have the best bedside matter, you'd find it hard-pressed to find a harder worker then me. I've given up a lot of hours to do my job, even when I wasn't being paid.

I've given up everything to help others. Even the chance of a happy life.

So why am I still here now? Because someone has to help ponies in need. Give them helpful advice. Give them the strength to carry on. I don't have much to give except my knowledge, but I can give it to them none the less.

But generous? I don't know. What makes me more generous then the hundreds of other doctors and nurses that strive to make everyone better. There are those out there that do far more then I could ever do.

But I suppose none of the them are here now, trying to do what I do. Trying to give out help in a world that no longer cares about helping others. A world that has turned its back on decency. On helping your fellow pony.

But what makes you think that going with you is really the better option? I leave with you, I'm dooming these ponies to get on without a nurse. These ponies depend on me, if nothing else. I don't see why going with you will make it better.

Although going with you could stop this mess, make these ponies better. That would in turn be the most generous thing to do. Especially since we're so unlikely to survive...

But can I really turn my back on one group of ponies to help another? Can I share my generosity around that much?

What's that, Nurse Coldheart? You're willing to take over? Why?

Well yes, I suppose it was nice the way I helped your family.

And it was nice the way I gave you somewhere to live, food for your children. Giving up everything I had to help them and others. But I don't want you to be in my debt. I don't want people to owe me anything.

…

Fine then, I'll go. I'll go fight against Him, no matter what little good it'll do. I'll fight Him for all those that can't. I'll fight for the good of Ponyville and Equestria. I'll fight to save others.

I just hope it's the right thing to do.


	5. Chapter 5: Every Cloud

Dear Diary.

Today was a good day. At least, I think it was today. It was a very short day none the less. But I think because it's now night for the fourth time then the day must have ended, so I can write about today.

It started up when I woke up and went for a flight past the cotton candy clouds. I suppose eating all that sugar must be bad for my teeth, but I don't think it matters any more. Cotton candy tastes good.

I saw a lot of funny things today. I saw a path made of soap that was so much fun to slide down. I managed to go super fast. The bubbles remind me of my cutie mark.

I really do like my cutie mark. I got it when I was just a little filly. Back when I first learnt how to fly. I realized how great it was to fly. To be as light as a bubble. To have no cares when I'm flying through the air.

It helped at the same time I was blowing bubbles with my mother. She was a nice mum. She made lots of time for me. We blew bubbles together.

I miss her. I miss her a lot.

I also played wit the rabbits today, with their long funny legs. It made me laugh seeing them run around. Laughing is fun.

Not that that pink pony would think that. She likes to hurt people that laugh. She thinks that they are laughing at her. It's not true. I'm not laughing at her. I feel sorry for her. Not being able to laugh. Laughter is the greatest thing in the world.

I must admit, this new world makes it hard to do my delivers. I sometimes have to search far and wide to see where the house is meant to be. Or whether it is in the shape of a house any more.

Though the house that looked like a giant muffin made me laugh. Didn't taste like donut though, which made me very sad. Still, it looked like muffins, and I like muffins.

My favourite muffin is chocolate, followed closely by vanilla. I like eating muffins though. I'd spend all day making them if I could. But I have a job to deliver things, and that's what I'll do.

Not that people really want to deliver stuff any more.

Oh, I almost forgot. I made some new friends today. There was this blue unicorn named Trixie that kept saying how great and powerful she was. Her magic tricks made me laugh at how funny they were.

Then there was this Doctor Whooves, how likes to count. He's really good at counting.

My favourite was Miss Cheerlie, who was really kind to me and stopped the others from making fun of me. That Nurse Redheart was also generous by offering me some of her food. That made me really happy.

They wanted to know which pony in Ponyville liked to laugh the most. I think I'm the one that laughs the most. Every cloud has a silver lining, that's what they say. And since I live up in the clouds I see silver linings all the time.

Except for cotton candy clouds. They don't have silver linings. They have purple ones.

But you should always look on the bright side. Even in a world that is all crazy and whatnot, you should still look on the bright side.

Like how pies fly into the air where I can eat them. It saves me having to go out and find food when it just comes to me.

It's true there are times when I do miss the way things use to be. I miss just being a normal delivery pony that liked muffins. Still, that doesn't mean this world is that bad.

They asked about my eyes also. Everyone asks about my eyes. I don't see what the problem is. Sure they don't seem to be able to point in the right direction sometimes. But that doesn't mean I'm slow or incapable of being smart. That just means I can see more of the world at once. Yes it's hard to focus on things, but I have people willing to help me focus on things. Sure it's hard to see what the addresses on the packages say, but the other pegasuses are all too read out what it says for me. I have amazing direction sense, so I know where everything is.

They say that I'm going to have the Element of Laughter. That seems fine by me. I love to laugh. Laughing is the best thing in the world. Except for maybe muffins.

Well I have to go diary. I'm so glad you managed to stay the same shape for so long. It makes life so much easier when you're not trying to fly away. Or when it isn't trying to bite me.

They say I might not be able to come back once we face down Him. I don't know what that means. I always come back. I'm not too worried. As I always say:

Every cloud has a silver lining.

Talk to you later.

Derpy Hooves.


	6. Chapter 6: Blasting Out The Truth

Hey hey what's up. This is DJ Pon-3 blasting out all those tunes you know and love so well. I got a request here for some Equestria Girls. Hit it boys.

And remember, this is DJ Pon-3. If I said it then you better believe it, because I'm the pony that never tells a phony.

Not that it matters any more. It's not like anyone actually listens to this radio station any more. Not ever since He took over.

I don't know whether it's a gift or a curse, being unable to tell a lie. Ever since I could talk it was one hundred percent truth. Why I became a DJ I'll never know.

Actually, I do know. It's because I want people to hear the truth. Too often the media lies to you, distorts the truth to fit how they want to see things. Did you hear how they tried to cover up the whole Nightmare Moon fiasco as a hoax. Well I was the MC that night and I can tell ya for a fact that it really happened.

Or how they tried to pass off the Gala as some sort of grand success. Ha, yeah right. It was a total disaster and yours truly got the front row seats.

I tell the truth, even when I know I shouldn't. Even when I know it means I won't have many friends because of it. Still don't. Just me and my records.

That was Equestria Girls, what's next on the play list. Oh you're gonna love this one, just in, Good ol's Days by The Living Tombstones and others. Wait till you hear this one.

Where was I? Oh yes, never being able to lie. Yes, I won't lie and say it's a blessing. It has cost me many a time. I only got this job because I'm the only one that knows how to work the turntables I invented.

It's how I got my Cutie Mark, you see. One day I was minding my own business when suddenly a brilliant idea struck me. A way of spreading music to people far and wide. A way of blasting out something new, not that lame old classical stuff.

(Although Octavia, darling, if you're listening to it. I'm not saying your stuff is bad. Just... outdated. Not with the hip new times).

So I got to work and soon I had a working turntable, complete with speakers and everything. It really was quite awesome. It was when my Cutie Mark first appeared that I realised that I had found my true calling.

So now I'm not the just the best DJ, I'm the only DJ. While the squares are still out there with your newspapers I'm hitting it up with the latest beats and the truth. The whole truth. Nothing but the truth.

I'm not allowed to speak at events any more. Too many problems. Instead I just got to sit quietly and play the music. But no one can take me off the airwaves.

Except Him. I don't know if the radio waves even work any more with Him around interfering with them.

He once ate them in front of me. The actual waves. Took all the music clean out of the air. Then he ate the record to boot before giving me another. A song of his own creation. He forces me to play it continuously. Now and then I'm allowed to deviate and play something different whenever he's... occupied. I just hope it isn't another visit to the graveyard again.

That took several long nights to sort out.

And a steady hoof.

Well, looks like I have the time to take a call. You on the air with DJ Pon-3. If I said it then you better believe it, because I'm the pony that never tells a phony. What's your name?

Trixie? Oh I remember you. That unicorn that did that stage show. It was impressive stuff.

Element of Honesty? Well, sure. I suppose I am pretty honest. Never told a single lie in my life. Never have, never will.

Join you? Join you on what?

A crusade to stop Him with the Elements of Harmony? Filly, are you out of your mind? In Princess' Celestia's star pupil and all her friends couldn't stop her. What makes you think you got a chance? You have a snowball's chance in the desert, that's what you have.

You want me to tag along? Well I don't know. I may be honest, but that just means I don't think we have an inch of a chance. I think it's foolish.

Hang on a sec, I need to line up the next song. And it's...

Well it's His favourite song, Discord by Eurobeat Brony. If I hadn't heard it enough times already.

So my choices are either to join you on a fools errand that is going to result in failure and the consequences that come with it, or stay here and listen to His song again?

…

Where do you want to meet up?

This is DJ Pon-3, signing off.


	7. Chapter 7: The Cost Of Constant Chaos

Discord, I'm howlin' at the moon  
And sleepin' in the middle of a summer afternoon  
Discord, whatever did we do  
To make you take our world away?

Discord, are we your prey alone,  
Or are we just a stepping stone for taking back the throne?  
Discord, we won't take it anymore  
So take your tyranny away!

Oh how I love that song. That Eurobeat Pony really knew his stuff when he was writing it. It's a shame he was so boring afterwards. Still, nothing that a herd of angry giant spiders can't do to liven it up.

I suppose I should introduce myself to you, oh dear listener. It is I, Discord. Master of Chaos and Mayhem. Freed from his banishment, free to do whatever I please. Nothing can stand against the majesty that is me.

Well, except the Elements of Harmony, but between you and me I don't think that's going to be that much of a problem any more. Not after I, you know, defeated and humiliated them in a way that proves my majesty.

It sure beats what I use to do. There are people out there that have no concept of fun in their bodies.

But here we go again. Six ponies coming together in the hopes of bringing me down. Well, I suppose one of them is a stallion. Though that wouldn't be all that difficult to change...

Nah, I'll leave him as it is. It's funnier to see him stand so out of place amongst the rest.

But don't they just look adorable, facing me right now. Thinking that just by wearing those little trinkets they'll be able to match against me. I think I'll throw a dragon or two in their way, liven things up.

My my, it seems like the little ponies (and the stallion) have survived. That's good, it saves me the effort of bringing them back. I wonder what else I can throw at them.

Well that was fun. For a little bit. A few monsters, a few disasters, a test against each of their supposed strengths. The usual stuff that all heroes have to face.

I bet why you're wondering why I'm doing this. That all this is just going to be my downfall, that I'm going to get overconfident and let them win. Well can you keep a secret? Come close now.

I no longer care.

I grow weary of causing chaos. I know, it's all I live for. But it's grown so dull. I've done everything I could to this world. I've run out goof ideas. I don't know what's funny any more. I need a break.

But that doesn't mean I'm just gonna let them win. Oh no. They have to earn it. An all-powerful being like me won't go down lightly. But they may win. They may.

It's hard having to bring in eternal chaos. It's really difficult. There's only so much one can do before I run out of ideas, before I run out of ponies. Sure I can easily bring them back, but it's not the same. There's only so much I can do.

Still, it was exciting to come back, I will admit that. To see all this new stuff at my disposal. New concepts, new ideas. New ways of having fun. Did you know that chocolate milk wasn't invented when I first got put away. Can you believe it? It was so dull back in the early days. Switch off gravity here, reverse time there, warp the very fabric of space/time. Sure it was fun and all bringing the dead back as zombies, but it got old fast.

You know, I think a rest will do me good. A nice, relaxing rest where I can recharge my creative batteries so I can come forth with a new burst of energy. Let them forget about me a bit. Maybe even put things back to normal.

But not just yet. I want to see what these newbies try to do. Wouldn't it be funny if they seemed to defeat me. That would really make Celestia's prize pupil cringe. Oh the woe that would put her in. That alone would almost be enough.

I suppose if I let them win the ponies should all turn back to normal... nah, I think I'll keep them as they are. Their new personalities. They can spread some of the chaos for me.

So it's settled. I let them defeat me, spend a few centuries relaxing and plotting what to do next, then burst forth and do the whole thing again. Oh this is gonna be so much fun, I can't wait.

You don't really think the Elements of Harmony can stop an all-powerful being like me, do you? That's just silly. As if I was in any real danger. Far better to let them think they've won instead.

It'll be all the more sweeter when I come back.


	8. Chapter 8: My Foolish Little Ponies

Hello there, ponies and stallions. So nice to see you. What is it that you have there?

The Elements of Harmony? My my, they are nice trinkets, are they. But do you think they are enough to defeat me? The Great and Powerful Discord.

Well I suppose all of those adventures I've put you through is bound to have helped you become the ponies (and stallion) that you were meant to be. Made you perfect users of the Elements.

DJ Pon-3, how I made you force the others to confront the truth about their path and accept their past mistakes.

Derpy, how I gave you the opportunity to prove that laughter is indeed the best way to overcome said past traumas.

Nurse Redheart, how I gave you the opportunity to sacrifice the only thing you had left, your life, in the ultimate act of generosity. Good thing you managed to survive, isn't it?

Miss Cheerlie, how I gave you the chance to protect those young fillies and through your kindness get them back to their parents.

Doctor Whooves, how even though I stranded you from your party you had the loyalty to stay besides them, even when offered the chance to travel through time and space.

And you, my dear Trixie. I gave you the opportunity to befriend these pitiful ponies (and a stallion) and learn that the strongest magic is indeed friendship.

Yes I orchestrated it so that you'd learn the lessons that the other little ponies learnt, so that you may have enough power to activate the Elements of Harmony. But now comes the famous test.

You've proven your worth against my challenges. But can you prove your worth against me!

Doctor Whooves, I offer you this choice. You say you are loyal. I say that loyalty is a fault for the weak. You may have stuck by your friends before. But what if I gave you the choice. The ultimate choice. Between your precious time... or her. You can have one, but you doom the other to be destroyed forever. Even if you defeat me my power will still linger, so you will never be free. So are you loyal to her. Or to a simple concept of time?

Derpy, my dear. These ponies don't laugh with you. They laugh at you. Everyone thinks of you as nothing more than a joke. Even when you try to be yourself people mock you and jeer against you. They slur against you. They make you change who you are to please themselves. They don't accept you for you. Can you really say that you have any friends? That laughter is all the great when directed at you?

Miss Cheerlie, you say that you are kind. But this is clearly untrue. You are a teacher. Teachers by their nature have to be strict in order to discipline their children. But it's more than that. I've seen your past. I know that you weren't always kind. I knew you use to be a bully. The biggest filly in the playground. How can you have the Element of Kindness when you were once so merciless?

Nurse Redheart, the giver of so much. Now what sort of sham is that. How much have you really given? You're just doing your job, nothing more. You work those long hours so you can earn more bits. If you were truly generous you'd give away every cent. You'd work for free. But no, you do it for the bits. Generous? Ha. And I'm unfunny.

DJ Pon-3, has speaking the truth ever brought you anything but misery? How many friends do you have? How many people like being around you? Nobody likes someone that always tells the truth. All you do is ruin the fun for others. All you do is make people feel bad by telling the truth when it is far more sensible to lie. What has honesty brought you except loneliness?

And Trixie. The Great and Powerful Trixie. If you're as amazing as you say you are, why don't you have any friends? Surely someone with your magical power could conjure up some friends with ease?

So, my little ponies (and that one stallion), what do you say? The others fell under my power, what makes you think you're better? Is there anything you can say to me that will break my hold over you? Is there any response at all? What is it that you're about to say, hmm?

_Yes. You're right._

Yes. You're right. I can never choose between two equally valid options. My loyalties will always come into conflict. But just because I choose one option doesn't mean I'm not still loyal to the other. I refuse to make the choice though. I shall be loyal to her and to the concept of time. There is nothing you can offer or inflict onto me that will make me change those loyalties. It isn't as clear cut as one or the other. A stallion may have many loyalties, some of them conflicting. But that doesn't mean one is less than the other.

Yes. You're right. People do laugh at me, at my silliness, at my misfortunes. And I'm okay with that. Because at the end of the day I like laughter, any sort. And if they're laughing at me, well, they're not laughing at someone else. If I'm being ridiculed they're not bulling someone who couldn't handle it. I've been laughed at my whole life. But I don't see why I should let it get me down.

Yes. You're right. I wasn't very kind. I was a big bully. I may never be able to change what I did. But I can choose what I do now. Now I realize that I made a mistake. I'm a teacher. We're not kind. But we are generous. I don't get paid overtime. I don't get paid to help put on school productions. I don't get paid to make sure every student is happy. Because I don't care about being paid. Any money I got would be given back to my fillies and foals to further their hopes and dreams. I've already fulfilled my dreams. I want to give so they can fulfil theirs.

Yes. You're right. I'm not very generous. I only work the long hours for the bits. But I could make better bits in a whole raft of other professions. But none of them would give me the satisfaction I get when I see those that suffer recover under my hoof. That they will go out into the world and do what they want thanks to what I do. Yes, we lose a few. More than I'd care to admit. But that doesn't mean I should stop being kind to them anyway.

Yes. You're right. The truth hurts. And sometimes it's unpleasant. But someone has to stand for it. The truth is to precious to be discarded. I know that it's the truth that I see my gift as a blessing, nor a curse. That while being forced to speak the truth may drive ponies away, telling lies will only hurt them greater when the truth does come out. The truth may hurt, but at least it doesn't hurt as long as lies.

Yes. You're right. I, the Great and Powerful Trixie, do not have many friends. Or any friends. My exceptional gifts have made me an outcast amongst society. My talents have put me a league above the rest. So maybe I'll never have friends. Maybe I'll forever be alone. But I'm not going to change who I am to make ponies feel better about themselves. I may be egotistical, boastful, prideful. But that is who I am as a pony. If I changed myself to make friends, then I wouldn't be doing it at all.

My my, you are some smart little ponies (and a stallion). Capable of working through my manipulation. Realizing that the elements don't perfectly fit and switching them around. That is very clever. So go ahead. If you think you have enough power, fire away. Encase me in stone, reverse all of this process. Go ahead and shoot. I'll like to see what happens.

… So once again I am frozen in stone. I suppose I should feel upset that I have been defeated.

… If I was defeated, that was. You really think those false bearers have enough power to encase me for another thousand years? I'll be out within a few decades at most. The feeble power those bearers provided will barely stop me. The original bearers are still corrupted. Parts of the land are still under my control. This is nothing more than a rest.

You see I've been planning this right from the start. There was always the chance that the original bearers regain their old moods and throw off their brainwashing, ready to face me down once again. They might have even been able to beat me.

But giving false bearers the chance to do it, well, the Elements of Harmony were hardly at their full strength. Nothing that I couldn't resist against. So I set it all up. I set it up so Trixie would find Celestia and go on that fool's errand. That she'd unite a ragtag group of ruffians that wouldn't have a chance of stopping me. All I needed to do was set up a few scenarios to let them truly power up their Elements enough for them to work.

I'll be out of here in a few decades to do this all over again. My my, it will be a lot of fun.

I can hardly wait.

See you soon.


End file.
